Loved him. Loved his family. And if truth be told I had been driving round with Bridal magazines in the back of my car for weeks, so why was my response to his proposal such a shock?

I didn’t think I would have the courage to marry again, but when my second husband (yes us sensitive souls are still hopeful romantics no matter what has happened in our past) and I began house hunting I knew we were making a nest for the family we were talking about.

Photos can be soul shots. My wedding photo reveals more than a happy bride facade as you look closely.

My 1994 wedding photo is a true soul shot revealing more than expected.

Something was horribly wrong though and the proposal was a hint. Poor fellow. I made him ask me at least 6 times as we sat in the park under the trees enjoying a romantic picnic. Why? I kept interrupting.

My soul was screaming NO before I was ever conscious that I could connect and listen in, but I kept stopping him mid-sentence unexplainably. Ok now I am ready, do it again. I would say each time and then I would blurt STOP! When he was finally able to get the proposal completely out, I said yes immediately and I screamed and he cried. Oh. My. God! If that wasn’t a sign I don’t know what was, but back then I didn’t understand signs. In fact I was working terribly hard at ignoring all of them and suppressing my Inner Wisdom as I was still working the blue suit, type-A agenda as ‘Jane OverAchiever’ and was several years away from becoming EagleSpirit.

We had planned our perfect wedding which include my yoga teacher doing a wonderful reading, music from my favourite ashram and the promise to play written into the more traditional vows. It really was a lovely event. Although looking back to the photos I can see my soul crying out, ‘help me.’

Within 8 months of the wedding I was terribly ill and had already been rushed to hospital by ambulance. I was dying to get out of the relationship. Literally.

I even had a near death experience while my husband was unknowingly snoring beside me in our bed. Imagine the news that it isn’t your time and being sent back into your body to get on with things. As I slid back into my frail and ailing body, I heard myself say,’this relationship is killing me.’ When I repeated it out loud my body began shaking with recognition, much the way it had as I went into shock after a particularly difficult conversation with my husband about… well no need to go there. Let’s just say it was another one of those HUGE signs to GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN type signs that led to that ambulance ride. When I had the courage to say it aloud to him, he was not surprised one bit as he was watching my life force be zapped from me before his very eyes.

Believe it or not, that relationship did bring many blessings. An optimistic Empath who understands soul contracts can say this now. Back then I could not. I was a victim in an emotionally abusive relationship. That is how I storied it. But learning about past lives and soul contracts, thanks to working with Dr. Yvonne Kasson who speimages-1cialized in NDE’s (near death experiences) made a world of difference in my life. In fact that experience, and others I had on healing tables clearly demonstrated how powerful past life energetic hooks actually are. And because of that I developed the Soul Retrieval work that I do. No one needs suffer. What we need is to understand.

By leaving when I did, I ended the repeated cycle of dying at this man’s hands. Having key pieces of my past returned to me helped change my life in a way I never could have imagined.  I got out alive and I really did come back to LIVE my life rather than continue on the blue- suited/automatic pilot path I was following.

Wondering what types of patterns might actually be signs that past life issues are effecting you?

Check for unexplainable fears. Fear of water, open spaces, closed spaces, speaking in public, exploring your spirituality. All of these could be connected to a previous life. They may have stopped you from living your most Authentic life so far, but they do not need to continue to do so. When you are ready you can work with a practitioner who can help you undo the energetic hook, release the limiting belief and help you get that piece of you that has felt missing for so long.

Notice if you feel ‘called’ to certain groups. You may be trying to reconnect to a soul group that has been together before. Perhaps there is a drive to work on a project similar in some way to a group experience that you lived before. This time it could work out differently, if indeed you are meant to participate once more. Or perhaps it is time to unhook from the group think that is dragging you back into old patterns.

Watch what happens when you travel to places that you have always dreamed of. For some of us it is the feeling of the ocean that calls us. For others it is the warm dry desert. You may even have specific types of foods or music that you crave that can be specifically linked to a geographic spot. Ever wondered why that is?

Many Soul Journey clients are drawn to places around the world where they have lived before. Reconnecting to the stories of those places allows them to reclaim lost pieces of soul. It affirms their soul preferences and often helps them reclaim gifts from past lives that would prove helpful in there current life. You would be surprised how many clients return with renewed enthusiasm for their life’s passions – work, relationships, teaching and learnings!

Examine repeating plove yourself enough to stopatterns. It may not be one particular relationship that holds the key. Do a general life review and notice if you have been repeating patterns. New relationships seem hauntingly familiar as you see signs that you are watching the same challenges unfold AGAIN.

Rather than blaming anyone in the situation, recognize that you are the common thread in the pattern. Welcome this as an opportunity to heal a long held limiting belief or complete a karmic debt. Love yourself enough to stop whatever is hurting you or another. Your soul will thank you. Your energy will increase. And frankly you will be a whole lot happier.


ES promo shot sedonaEagleSpirit, a Contemporary Shaman, has worked for over 20 years to help clients relax their bodies, release limiting beliefs and radiate their most authentic selves.
As the creator of Empath 101 Empowerment program she speaks to groups internationally, facilitates the month-long course that has changed lives and is often featured in the media for her grounded approach to spirituality.
Visit here for more details about Empath 101 and contact us if you would like to sponsor the program in your area. Email to find our about personalized Soul Journeys or private sessions. You deserve to feel Soul Good!




4 comments on “Till death do us part… or do we have something to work out?

  • I’m going to re-read this later when the tears stop flowing…….OMG I ignored the signs for so long….until you EagleSpirit .Forever grateful <3

    • We all listen to the signs.. eventually. And it is in perfect timing I am sure. When we know better (and we hurt enough), we do better.

      Sending love, EagleSpirit

  • Great post! I too have had many, many repeating scenarios, most notably with men. My sister (also a Virgo) is the marrying woman in our family, but I kept taking in birds with lost wings, or dogs that had been kicked by life. I made it all better, then sent them on their way when they started to stand up to me. In part so I wouldn’t be the one getting hurt. But then I met a man who did to me what I had done — only he didn’t let go. It took me five years, but then a lightning bolt hit me and realized he was meant to be the man that I let take care of me, as I take care of him. A very different kind of love, but a deeper love nonetheless.

    • So beautifully written Kathy! And how wonderful that you have found the man who is willing to love and be loved. You two make a beauty-full pair. A real partnership. Congratulations!

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